The Ocean’s Eleven Nachos

This is not just any regular tray of nachos. A perfect heist takes eleven people, three casinos, and apparently a tray of nachos, so for Vol. 5 of Cooking the Movies I put Ocean’s Eleven on a plate. There is a guy in that movie who eats in every single scene. Standing up, one hand, robbing three casinos in one night, still eating. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. So he gets the one food on this planet that is actually built to be eaten that way. And I built the tray like the heist itself. Eleven guys, everybody has one job, nobody rides for free. Same rule here. Every chip on this tray is working, because you know exactly how it feels to reach in and pull up a bare chip with nothing on it. That is the guy who blows the whole job.

If you enjoy this recipe, I know you will enjoy my Mac and Cheese Arancini recipe too!

Why You Will Love these Loaded Nachos

No naked chips: This is the entire point. You build in two layers instead of dumping everything on one mountain, so the chips underneath get just as much as the ones on top. It is the difference between nachos and a bowl of chips with a topping problem.

A real cheese sauce: Shredded cheese thrown on top and broiled goes stringy, then greasy, then hard. A quick roux and evaporated milk gives you a pourable sauce that gets into every crack and stays soft while you eat.

Fifteen minutes, one pan: The beef and the sauce go at the same time and neither one is difficult. This is a weeknight tray that eats like a party tray.

Built for standing up: No fork, one hand, everybody around the same pan. This is not a sit down dinner and it was never supposed to be.

Easy to make yours: Black beans, corn, pickled red onion, hot sauce, whatever you have. The layering method is the part that matters, the toppings are yours.

Ingredients

For the beef:

• 1 Lb Ground Beef
• 1 Packet Taco Seasoning (about 3 TBSP)
• 1/2 Cup Water
• Salt to taste

For the cheese sauce:

• 2 TBSP Butter
• 2 TBSP All Purpose Flour
• 1 (12 Oz) Can Evaporated Milk
• 4 Oz Sharp Cheddar, shredded
• 4 Oz Monterey Jack, shredded
• Salt to taste

For the tray:

• 1 Bag Tostitos, or any sturdy restaurant style corn chip
• 1 Shallot, finely diced
• 1 to 2 Jalapenos, sliced thin and left raw
• Sour Cream, for drizzling

How to Make Loaded Nachos:

Start the beef. Get a skillet over medium high heat and add the ground beef, breaking it up as it goes. You want to hear it sizzle the second it hits the pan, and you want to leave it alone for a minute at a time so it browns instead of steaming. Once there is no pink left, drain off most of the fat but not every bit of it. That little bit of fat is carrying flavor and it helps the seasoning cling.

Now the seasoning, and the order matters. Sprinkle the taco seasoning over the drained beef first and stir it around so it toasts in the hot pan for maybe thirty seconds. Then add the half cup of water. It will look like way too much liquid for a second, and then it will not, because the flour and starch in the seasoning tighten it into a glossy sauce that coats every crumble of beef. Let it bubble down for two to three minutes until it stops being watery and starts looking like taco filling. Salt to taste. Set aside when done.

The cheese sauce. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat, then whisk in the flour and keep whisking for about a minute. It should smell a little nutty and lose that raw flour smell, which is the only thing you are waiting on. Pour in the evaporated milk slowly, whisking the whole time so it stays smooth. Let it come up to a bare simmer and thicken enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Here is the important part. Pull the pot off the heat before any cheese goes in. Add the cheddar and the Monterey Jack a handful at a time, whisking each one in until it disappears before you add the next. Cheese added to a boiling pot splits and goes grainy, and once it splits you cannot bring it back. Salt to taste. Off the heat it will stay pourable for a good while, and if it tightens up too much you can loosen it with a splash more evaporated milk.

Build it in two layers. This is where most trays get lost. Spread half the chips across a sheet pan in one layer, and I mean one layer, not a pile. Spoon half the beef over them, hitting individual chips instead of dumping it all in the middle. Then half the cheese sauce, moving in stripes across the whole pan so you get coverage instead of a puddle.

Now do it again. The rest of the chips, the rest of the beef, the rest of the cheese sauce. Two thin layers beat one thick one every time, because the bottom of the pan gets treated exactly like the top and nothing comes up bare.

Finish it raw and cold. Scatter the diced shallot and the thin sliced jalapenos over the top while everything is still hot, and leave them raw. Cooked jalapeno goes soft and loses its bite, and raw shallot gives you that sharp crunch cutting through all that fat, which is the whole reason it is on there. Then drizzle the sour cream back and forth across the tray. Thin it with a splash of water if it is too thick to move, since you want lines across the whole thing and not three cold blobs in one corner.

Eat it standing at the counter with everybody else, one hand, no fork. That is the correct way and I am not taking questions. And that is Ocean’s Eleven on a plate.

Common Mistakes:

Shredded cheese instead of a sauce: Cheese scattered on top only melts where it lands, then firms up into a sheet you have to tear apart. A pourable sauce is what gets down into the tray and reaches the chips at the bottom.

Adding the cheese while the pot is still on the heat: This is the one that actually ruins it. Too hot and the sauce breaks into grease and grit, and there is no fixing it after. Off the heat, a handful at a time, whisking between each.

Building one big pile: All the toppings end up on the top inch and everything under it is bare. Two thin layers across a full sheet pan, every time.

Skipping the water after the seasoning: Dry seasoning on dry beef stays dusty and tastes like the packet. The water is what turns it into a sauce that actually coats the meat.

Putting the sour cream on hot and thick: Straight from the tub it sits in cold lumps and melts into white puddles. Thin it slightly and drizzle it so it lands everywhere.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the best chips for nachos?

Something thick and sturdy, which is why I use Tostitos. Thin restaurant chips snap the second there is any weight on them, and a broken chip cannot carry anything. If a chip cannot hold a spoonful of beef without folding, it is the wrong chip.

Can I make nachos ahead of time?

The components, yes. The tray, no. Make the beef and the cheese sauce up to two days ahead and keep them in the fridge, then reheat the sauce gently over low heat with a splash of evaporated milk to loosen it. Assemble right before you eat, because a built tray goes soft in about ten minutes.

Why evaporated milk instead of regular milk?

It has less water and more concentrated milk protein, so the sauce comes out thicker and it holds together instead of breaking. It is the same reason it shows up in so many old school mac and cheese recipes.

Can I use pre shredded cheese?

You can, and it will work, but the anti caking starch on pre shredded cheese can leave the sauce slightly grainy. Buying blocks and shredding them yourself takes two minutes and gives you a noticeably smoother sauce.

Do I have to put these in the oven?

No, and I would not. Everything on this tray is already hot when it goes on. Running it under a broiler just dries out the chips and firms up the sauce you worked to keep pourable.

What else can I put on them?

Black beans, corn, pickled red onions, cilantro, hot sauce, guacamole. Add whatever you want, just add it in both layers instead of only on top. Serve hot and enjoy!